metanoia

by tony appleseed

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about

met·a·noi·a (ˌmetəˈnoiə/) noun -
A change in one's way of life resulting from penitence or spiritual conversion.

After abandoning more than three other nearly completed albums, Anthony DeFabritus III (under the moniker Tony Appleseed), and longtime friend/collaborator Jerry Gambino embark on a musical journey that this time they could not turn away from. Lined with sweat, tears, sleepless nights, and accumulated years of life lessons, Metanoia is a brief documentation of these experiences. Fifteen tracks packed with heart and soul, quiet sonnets that burst into explosive emotions, connected together by exploratory instrumentals.

credits

released May 9, 2015

tony appleseed: vocals, piano, rhodes, synthesizers, guitar, bass, programming, sequencing, ukulele, mandolin, banjo, sitar, percussion, drums (track 7)
gerald gambino: drums
candace schur: vocals (track 3, 13 & 14)
justin iannarone: guitar (track 12 & 13)

recorded, mixed, & mastered at antFARM(studio)
art, text & layout: tony appleseed
additional layout & photoshop: jesse lee herdman & daimon santa maria

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all rights reserved

about

tony appleseed Asbury Park, New Jersey

impressions, observations, and narratives as told by tony appleseed.

7.28.17 | w/The Porchistas & Sourland @ Asbury Hotel | Asbury, NJ

5.21.17 | w/Phoebe Nix & The Creeptones @ APYC | Asbury, NJ

11.26.17 | w/Bone+Marrow & Phoebe Nix @ APYC | Asbury, NJ

8.26.16 | Introspectator Release w/Bone+Marrow, Homeless Apians @ House of Independents | Asbury, NJ
... more

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Track Name: Saṃsāra
the game plays the game,
the poem writes the poem,
we can't tell the dancer from the dance.
less and less do you need to force things,
until finally you arrive at non-action.
when nothing is done, nothing is left undone.
this nothing is in fact, everything.
it happens when we trust
the intelligence of the universe.

being fully in the present moment is
the greatest gift you can give to each situation.
all we're dealing with is the problem that
the human mind clings.
and the clinging of the human mind,
takes it into time and into space,
and it takes it away from the fullness of the moment.
Track Name: sophrosyne
there's no trying to fight it,
there's no way you can resist it,
jump right in, wherever you are,
that's what you're in.

there's no version you can make,
no purpose in identity,
it's all you, part of you, search within.

someone tell me all the answers,
someone tell me please,
'cause the more i look,
the more they elude me.

however it takes form,
however it takes shape,
however it was born,
however it was made,
it's all the same, it's all a game,
on a different day, in a different life.

back to basics,
the hum of the refrigerator echoes
across far corners of the universe,
constant motion, seasick
as the watch hands wave,
vibrating everywhere at once, visual
only in the instant perceived.

slow things down while speeding up,
racing towards death,
staring at spots upon the ceiling,
focusing on solid breathing,
within breathing.

however you were born,
however you may die,
you'll find yourself
in a different life,
and it's all the same.
Track Name: characters drawn
packed your bags, the world is ripe
a fresh in season pear
with only quarters to his skin
traded family for clear cut goals,
plans in hand, possessions thinned.

now you're here it's becoming clear,
life is never quite how you thought it'd be
the boy reacts, he slowly slips
the motors fail, and aspirations slip.

this is how the faces fade,
characters drawn
into the scripted scenes
only to pass out into the scenery.

begging for matriarchal hands,
oppositional growing self-doubt
he's gone to hide beneath his skin,
torn apart by love or instincts
he's yet to fully understand.

complex cogs now stripped thin,
pulse subdued, gone to hide within,
eyes say more than tongues would talk,
the curtains drawn, now assumptions win.
Track Name: karoshi
gears of the godhead
subject to autonomy,
playing out their fractal roles
as ants in a colony.

the whole time focused
on conditioned goals,
lacking the greater whole

i'll say i'm not myself today
behind blind eyes,
spiritless inside.

caved under context,
serving gladly,
valuing materials,
sacrificing family

deadlines coming,
headlines pass.
you're missing memories,
to conform to social castes.

tears of a child,
victim of priorities,
absence of a patriarch
establishing authority

the whole time focused
on the missing parts
defeats the purpose of a running start

i'll say i'm not myself today
behind abandoned eyes,
spiritless inside.
Track Name: yūgen
isn't it too much?
you're caving in from the weight
of the world resting on your shoulder.
isn't it more than you can bear?

sometimes the sound of a gun,
mainlines in your mind,
stories to come.

haven't quite figured out,
the right way out of this alive.
haven't found out,
I'm just trying to survive,
and then, there it goes again.

aren't I almost there,
debts and thoughts to spare?
and when I can almost breathe,
a new lot takes hold of me.

at the end of the day,
who've I to blame?
a faceless caste can't excuse
what I've buried as truth.
Track Name: 528
if you tune to A-444,
the scale contains the pitch of C in 528.

the way that our entire universe is constructed,
including we the people,
is through a musical mathematical matrix
composed of nine core creative frequencies.
among those nine core creative frequencies,
we find the original musical scale.

there's a perfect circle of sound.

when you sigh, when you chant, when you laugh,
you're actually vibrating the same frequency
as the botanical world is celebrating,
as the sun is emitting.

it's this amazing reality where we begin to realize
that the voice, the sounds, are creative.
that essentially makes your lips,
and the sound that you emit with your lips,
the most powerful healing technology on earth.

it's fundamental to pi, phi, the golden mean,
the Fibonacci series.
you wouldn't be able to measure space, time...
all measurement is based on the 528 frequency
within the musical scale.

the western world acquired its standard tuning in 1939,
when the Rockefeller foundation instituted standard tunings
to A-440Hz frequency,
and that was derived from military acoustic warfare
research that determined the most dissonant
or stressful frequency, and the British standards institute
was persuaded by Nazi propaganda minister Joesph Goebbels
to institute that frequency.
and then what we realize is that its suppressing
the 528.
Track Name: untitled
I wrote you a song,
I tried to use the happy chords,
like I, and V, and IV.
I tried to synthesize the most
splendid metaphors
but I just couldn't seem to craft the words,
so I sing...

I thought of all the times,
the hours would fly by,
as the world disintegrates
just outside our gaze,
hypnotized for days.
I tried to capture these feelings into song,
but inspiration only strikes when
things have gone way wrong.
so I smile, and I sing...

I've got a little book full of poems about heartache,
'cause love hurts,
and there's nothing quite as painful as that ache.
like a tenth-round blow to the chest,
three slugs too far, from what I can already take.
and when I'm at my end, and ready to collapse,
from nowhere comes a smile, and I've relapsed.
'cause I'm sick in the head,
from love.
Track Name: cross hatched
tear myself in two,
bending new ways for you,
now I'm beside myself
looking at the ways
I could assemble my days
in alternate truths,
but this is where I find myself.

strengthened roots
bind the tree to the earth,
blossoming occasionally,
to prove their worth.

logic stutters abruptly,
you fall to unjust truths,
submit to being used,
being subdued, entrapped.
check the shells that retreat,
they're left in a wake of what's to

I'm bothered by the way,
I let my self react, it's troubling
when we can't interact,
where does that leave humans,
when we lose our sense of trust?
but this is where I find myself.

cross hatched fortress
serrated discipline
cutting deep,
cutting deep.
Track Name: filter
I hope it helps you
to keep me in this little hell.
a private place to suffer,
but I'm not allowed to tell.

last chance for redemption,
I've sown my mouth shut,
but you've driven deep
the spike of exemption.

your words are daggers
to the heart and the mind.
I hope you've learned that
from the ones you've left behind.

and every time I speak,
your ears just filter me out.

no stranger to your instilled device.
redrawn chalk lines, encircling sacrifice.
Track Name: hold on
i've settled in these pastures
i've come so long to find,
but now that i have been here,
there's something greener on my mind.

complacency is not a place
i can stay confined,
cause everything i think i want
stays far enough behind my reach

hold on

i've flown before and can again
when my desires disagree
i feel a pulling urgency
to always set me free from myself

hold on, hold on,
you know its not so bad.
hold on, hold on,
to what i'll never have.
hold on, hold on,
when will i learn,
hold on, hold on,
to not hold on?

no matter where i go,
i'll still be there
no matter where i sit,
i'll always break the chair

cause everything's too heavy
for me to hold sometimes,
that's why i want to run away,
but i'll still always find myself.
Track Name: hair
you cut it off & cut me out.
I'm growing strong, even with your doubts.
how many more slights of the hand?
judgmental eyes descend
on the traitor of the trends.

all the times that I've tried,
brushed aside.
all time for growth cut
from my eyes.

lines grow long, examples set.
these locks are safe with me,
I wont cut yet.

all the times that I've tried,
brushed aside.
extrasensory perceptions died
Track Name: land mines
the world is spinning round,
the threshold's crashing down
everywhere.
values in the ground,
buried safe and sound,
thoughtfully.

crash course casualty
lying casually

sleep in your own bed,
I'll be just fine,
tend to your own fires,
be for you plant land mines.

the garden gate's ajar,
she's waiting by your car
yearningly.
and almost after dusk
when things have gone to rust,
trust fades eventually.

take your broken finger,
remove it from my face.
your hands are red enough,
you can hold your breath,
she will paint you blue.

crash course casualty,
tread so carefully.
observe fragility,
but not when it applies
to me.
Track Name: Zeta Reticuli
crafted into character
transcended fear
stripped of your worldview
when frigid hands bind you

when you thought you've seen it all
they've come from foreign lands
to make you feel so

astral tour guide
retinal rendezvous
but which world's waking
when scalpels protrude you?

"i've been in contact with this group
for most of my life, although
i was not aware of it up until now.
they made their presence known to me,
it was an abduction experience.
i was very frightened of it because
i had no idea what was happening to me
...they revealed hybridization projects."

lucid creations
consciousness caters
uncharted creatures
Track Name: criminals by design
when lessons in life reappear,
have we neglected the truth
with eyes closed in fear?
have we been dreaming our lives away,
just wasting away, a little at a time?
is it our choice, our lives?

are we designed with free will inside
or is the playback reel stuck on constant rewind?
are we designed with free will inside
or are we doomed to be criminals by design?

as time leaks away past our eyes,
how much of our lives are free,
how much do we decide?
do the choices we make really pave the way,
just take it off play, and let me clear my mind
'cause if it's my life, I get to press rewind

hey god, please save me the time to
know if this is a big thrill,
should I live like I'm dying, cause god,
I'm certainly trying to